6.1 Creating Connections: How to Build and Maintain Strong Relationships - Jordi Kidsune

Summary

Building and maintaining strong relationships requires effort and dedication, and involves effective communication, appreciation, support, forgiveness, and boundary-setting
Virtues like empathy, honesty, respect, patience, gratitude, compassion, trust, loyalty, generosity, responsibility, and courage can help you build and maintain strong relationships
Active listening, including paying attention, asking clarifying questions, and expressing understanding and empathy, is important for building and maintaining strong relationships
Offering support and empathy rather than unsolicited advice can help you build and maintain strong relationships
Different types of listening, such as empathetic, active, and reflective listening, can be useful in different situations
Avoiding common mistakes when listening to others, such as interrupting, offering unsolicited advice, and getting defensive, can help you build and maintain strong relationships
Paying attention to communication, including nonverbal cues, can help you build and maintain strong relationships
Seeking and providing confirmation and validation in social interactions, or social confirming, can help you build and maintain strong relationships
Choosing the right life partner involves considering factors like compatibility, shared values, communication skills, and emotional intelligence, and requires taking your time, being honest with yourself and others, and being open to learning and growing together.

1. Intro to building great relationships: it requires effort and dedication - according to an AI

By being present, attentive, and actively working to strengthen your relationships, you can create meaningful connections with the people you care about.

Tips for building and maintaining strong relationships:

Communication is key: Make an effort to regularly communicate with the people you care about. This can be through phone calls, texts, or in-person conversations.
Show your appreciation: Let the people in your life know how much they mean to you. A simple "thank you" or a small gift can go a long way in strengthening a relationship.
Be there for each other: Offer support and be there for the people you care about when they need it. This could be as simple as lending a listening ear or offering to help with a task.
Practice forgiveness: It's natural for people to make mistakes, and it's important to be able to forgive each other. Holding grudges can damage relationships, so try to let go of negative feelings and move on.
Respect boundaries: It's important to respect the boundaries of others and to communicate your own boundaries clearly. This helps to create a sense of trust and understanding in a relationship.

Remember, building and maintaining great relationships takes time and effort, but it is worth it. By being present and attentive, and showing appreciation and forgiveness, you can create strong, meaningful connections with the people you care about.

2. Virtues to daily strive for

There are many virtues that can help you build and maintain strong, healthy relationships. Here are a few to consider:

Empathy: Embrace the ability to understand and share the feelings of others, and watch as strong connections blossom. Create a sense of understanding and support in your relationships by walking a mile in someone else's shoes.
1. When a friend is going through a tough time, put yourself in their shoes and try to understand what they are feeling. Offer words of support and a listening ear.
2. Or during a meeting at work, try to understand where your colleagues are coming from and what their perspective is on the topic at hand. This can lead to more productive discussions and better outcomes.
3. When interacting with someone from a different culture or background, take the time to understand and appreciate their unique perspective. This can help to build stronger connections and relationships.
Honesty: Honesty is the foundation of trust. Be open and transparent in your relationships, and watch as mutual respect flourishes.
1. If you make a mistake, own up to it and take responsibility. This shows integrity and builds trust in your relationships.
2. When asked for your opinion, give an honest and truthful answer. This shows that you respect the other person enough to be upfront with them.
3. In a romantic relationship, be open and transparent with your partner about your feelings and intentions. This helps to build trust and mutual understanding.
Respect: Showing respect for the thoughts, feelings, and boundaries of others is key in building strong relationships. Treat others how you wish to be treated and watch as trust and understanding flourish.
1. When in a conversation, actively listen to the other person and refrain from interrupting or talking over them. This shows that you value their thoughts and opinions.
2. When working on a group project, respect each team member's ideas and contributions, even if they differ from your own. This helps to create a positive and productive working environment.
3. When interacting with someone who may have different beliefs or values than you, show respect for their perspective and try to understand where they are coming from.
Patience: Navigate conflicts and challenges with ease by embracing patience. Take a deep breath and understand that not everything will go as planned.
1. When dealing with difficult customers or clients, take a deep breath and remain calm. This shows that you are in control of the situation and can help to de-escalate the situation.
2. When faced with a problem or obstacle, take the time to consider all options before making a decision. This helps to ensure that the best course of action is chosen.
3. When in a disagreement with a loved one, take a step back and give each other space to cool down before trying to resolve the issue. This helps to avoid making decisions or saying things in the heat of the moment.
Gratitude: Express gratitude and appreciation for the people in your life, and watch as your relationships strengthen. Make others feel valued and watch as mutual support grows.
1. Take the time to thank your friends, family and colleagues for their support and help. This helps to show them that their contributions are valued.
2. Show appreciation for small gestures and kindnesses, such as a colleague bringing you coffee or a friend bringing you a meal. This helps to strengthen relationships and create a positive atmosphere.
3. Keep a gratitude journal where you write down things you are thankful for each day. This helps to shift your focus from negative to positive and improve your overall well-being and relationships.
Forgiveness: Forgiveness is the ultimate act of love. Let go of grudges and resentments to create stronger, more resilient relationships. Remember, holding onto anger only poisons the person who holds it.
1. When someone apologizes for their actions, try to put yourself in their shoes and see things from their perspective. This can help to build understanding and forgive them for their mistakes.
2. Practice self-forgiveness for your own mistakes and shortcomings. This helps to build self-compassion and reduce negative emotions.
3. When faced with a difficult situation, try to focus on the present moment and let go of grudges and resentments. This helps to create a more positive and resilient relationship.
Compassion: Showing compassion and caring for others can be the glue that holds relationships together. Create a sense of connection and understanding by being there for the people you care about.
1. When a friend is going through a tough time, offer practical help, such as cooking a meal or taking care of their children. This shows that you are there for them and that you care.
2. When volunteering, put yourself in the shoes of those you are helping, and try to understand their situation. This helps to build compassion and empathy.
3. When dealing with difficult situations, try to empathize with others and offer words of encouragement. This helps to create a positive and supportive environment.
Trust: Building trust is the foundation of any strong relationship. Be reliable and accountable for your actions and words, and watch as mutual respect and understanding grow.
1. When making promises, be sure to keep them and be reliable. This helps to build trust in your relationships.
2. When working on a project or task, be transparent about your progress and any issues that may arise. This helps to build trust and mutual understanding.
3. When discussing sensitive or private information, keep it confidential and protect it. This shows that you can be trusted to keep someone's trust and information safe.
Loyalty: Being loyal to the people you care about can create a sense of security and trust in your relationships. Stand by the ones you care about and watch as trust and understanding flourish.
1. When a friend or loved one is in need, be there for them and support them. This helps to build trust and mutual understanding.
2. When faced with a difficult decision, consider the impact it may have on your relationships before making a choice.
3. When faced with a conflict, remain loyal to the people you care about and try to find a solution that benefits everyone involved.
Generosity: Share your time, resources, and support with others and watch as your relationships strengthen. Create a sense of mutual support by giving of yourself.
1. Share your time, resources, and support with others and watch as your relationships strengthen.
2. Give compliments and praise to others. This helps to make others feel valued and improve relationships.
3. Offer to help out or lend a hand when someone is in need. This shows that you care and are willing to put in the effort to support others.
Responsibility: Take responsibility for your actions and words and create a sense of accountability in your relationships. Show others that they can trust you to keep your word.
1. Take responsibility for your actions and words, and be accountable for their impact on others. This helps to build trust and mutual understanding.
2. When working on a project or task, ensure that it is completed to the best of your abilities and on time. This helps to build trust and respect in your relationships.
3. When faced with a difficult situation, take ownership of the problem and work towards finding a solution. This helps to build responsibility and accountability in your relationships.
Courage: Navigate conflicts and build stronger relationships by being brave enough to confront challenges and difficult conversations head-on.
1. When faced with a difficult conversation or confrontation, be brave and speak up. This helps to build trust and mutual understanding.
2. When faced with a challenging situation, don't be afraid to ask for help or support. This shows that you are willing to admit when you need help and that you have the courage to ask for it.
3. When faced with a difficult decision, have the courage to make the tough choices and stand by them. This helps to build trust and mutual understanding.
Flexibility: Be open to new ideas and perspectives to navigate conflicts and build stronger relationships. Embrace change and watch as understanding and mutual support grow.
1. Be open to new ideas and perspectives to navigate conflicts and build stronger relationships.
2. Be willing to compromise and find a middle ground when faced with a difficult situation.
3. Be adaptable and willing to change your approach when something isn't working. This helps to build trust and mutual understanding.
Real. Be real in relationships. Act from love, one of the most common regrets on a death bed is love not given. If looking for guidance on how to act real, search for the sincerity of your inner child. This takes bravery. Dare to be honest, to be the real you, to face awkward silence. This takes enormous amounts of courage and strength, but when learned it unburdens weights and opens doors to people.
Authentic. Life your truth. Close the integrity gap between what you feel – think – do. Listen to your feelings, convey them into your thoughts and convert them into actions. Keep in mind the type of filter you have on (your emotional state); positive and/or negative. Integrity is vital, be sincere.
Nice. Be the kindest and nicest person you know. Leave the people better than you found them. Extra level of difficulty: Understanding. Highest level of difficulty: Forgiveness. The highest act in relationships. This is not for all. Know: if you do not forgive, you are burdening yourself too. Hatred is a curse that does not affect the hated. It only poisons the hater. Release a grudge as if it was poison. Hating somebody is like drinking poison and expecting them to die - Buddha

The key to kindness is to do something for the other person without expecting anything in return. Simply do what you have to do. Kindness in practice is giving. Both tangible and intangible. Free yourself from the prison called greed. Happiness depends on what one can give, not on what one can get - Aristotle. There are two kinds of givers, the brash giver (more than you can suffer) and the smart giver (who wisely estimates when, how often and to whom you can give).
Ethical. Your name is your brand. Don’t do anything unethical that would tarnish that brand. Honest to a fault!
Fun! Be full of enthusiasm. Smile more. Also: be the most positive person you know. Elevate energies. Be imaginative and inventive.
Fairness: Treating others with fairness and justice can help create a sense of trust and respect in your relationships. Be fair and just in your dealings with others and watch as mutual respect grows. To practice fairness in real life, try to be impartial when making decisions that affect others. For example, if you are a manager, make sure to give everyone an equal opportunity to apply for a promotion. Another way to practice fairness is to be consistent in your treatment of others, avoiding playing favorites or treating people differently based on personal bias. Lastly, strive to be objective and consider all sides of an issue.
Tolerance: Being accepting and understanding of others' differences can help create a sense of inclusivity and respect in your relationships. Embrace diversity and watch as understanding and mutual support grow. To practice tolerance in real life, try to be open-minded and accepting of others, regardless of their background or beliefs. For example, try to understand and appreciate the cultural differences of a colleague from another country. Another way to practice tolerance is to avoid making assumptions about others based on stereotypes or prejudices. Lastly, try to challenge your own biases and prejudices and work to be more inclusive.
Humility: Being humble and willing to listen to others can help create a sense of mutual respect and understanding in your relationships. Be open to learning from others and watch as mutual respect and understanding flourish. To practice humility in real life, try to be open to learning from others and admit when you don't know something. For example, ask a colleague for their opinion on a project and actively listen to their feedback. Another way to practice humility is to admit your mistakes and take responsibility for your actions. Lastly, try to avoid boasting about your accomplishments or putting others down.
Self-control: Navigate conflicts and build stronger relationships by having the ability to regulate your emotions and behaviors. Practice self-control and watch as mutual respect and understanding grow. To practice self-control in real life, try to manage your emotions and reactions in difficult situations. For example, take a deep breath and count to ten before responding to a frustrating email. Another way to practice self-control is to avoid impulsive or reckless behavior and think before you act. Lastly, try to avoid lashing out in anger or frustration and instead channel your energy into finding a solution.
Perseverance: Weather challenges and setbacks by embracing perseverance. Build stronger, more resilient relationships by being able to overcome obstacles together. To practice perseverance in real life, try to keep going even when faced with obstacles or setbacks. For example, if you're working on a project that's not going well, don't give up, instead try to find a way to overcome the challenges. Another way to practice perseverance is to be resilient in the face of failure and bounce back quickly. Lastly, try to be optimistic and have a positive attitude, even in difficult situations.
Honoring commitments: Follow through on your commitments and be reliable. Create a sense of trust and respect in your relationships by keeping your word. To practice honoring commitments in real life, try to be reliable and follow through on your promises. For example, if you say you'll do something, do it, and if something comes up that prevents you from keeping your word, communicate that to the person you made the commitment to. Another way to practice honoring commitments is to be dependable and consistent in your behavior. Lastly, try to be accountable for your actions and take responsibility for any mistakes you make.
Listening: Be an active listener and pay attention to others to create a sense of understanding and support in your relationships. Listen with an open mind and heart and watch as mutual understanding and support grow. To practice listening in real life, try to be present and fully engaged when someone is speaking to you. For example, make eye contact, nod, and respond to what they are saying. Another way to practice listening is to avoid interrupting or talking over others and instead give them the space to share their thoughts and feelings. Lastly, try to listen with an open mind and heart, and avoid jumping to conclusions or forming a response before the other person has finished speaking.
Open-mindedness: Be open to new ideas and perspectives to navigate conflicts and build stronger relationships. Embrace change and watch as understanding and mutual support grow. To practice open-mindedness in real life, try to be open to new ideas and perspectives. For example, if a colleague suggests a different approach to a project, consider their point of view before dismissing it outright. Another way to practice open-mindedness is to be willing to try new things and be open to change. Lastly, try to avoid being rigid or inflexible in your thinking, and strive to be adaptable and open to new possibilities.
Self-awareness: Navigate conflicts and build stronger relationships by being aware of your own thoughts, feelings, and behaviors. Practice self-awareness and watch as mutual respect and understanding grow. To practice self-awareness in real life, try to be mindful of your thoughts, feelings, and actions. For example, take time to reflect on how you're feeling and why, and how it might be affecting your behavior. Another way to practice self-awareness is to be honest with yourself about your strengths and weaknesses and work on improving the latter. Lastly, try to avoid being in denial about your own faults and strive to be honest with yourself about your own limitations.
Graciousness: Strengthen your connections and create a sense of mutual support by being kind and grateful in your relationships. Practice graciousness and watch as mutual respect and understanding grow. To practice graciousness in real life, try to be kind, courteous and grateful in your relationships. For example, thank someone for their help or support, and make an effort to show appreciation for the people in your life. Another way to practice graciousness is to be generous with your time, energy and resources. Lastly, try to avoid being ungrateful or taking people for granted and strive to be thankful for the people and things in your life.

Conclusion

Quiz

How to apply this in your life today

Quick exercises

Watch your words today - without judgment! If you're serious partner, kid, friend, or coworker to raise their hands to the point of annoying every time you use words of dislike. Most of the time, you don't even hear yourself putting it in your mouth.
Research shows that pronouncing negative words not only causes a stress response in the speaker but also in the listener. In him, more fear and irritation is observed, which undermines trust and possible cooperation. Source

Note: words that you say often, you will also think more often and therefore say more often, and you will behave accordingly: you become your words. For example, you can easily cultivate a 'yes-but' attitude. One holds on to doubtful words like 'maybe', 'actually' and 'a bit', the other often uses words with a negative connotation, such as 'no', 'but' and 'however', a third is more positive and uses more often 'and', 'like' and 'like'.
How do you speak more consciously? How do you choose your words instead of them attacking you? The mnemonic is: THINK. pause. Stop the impulse to speak, turn your attention to your breath and bodily sensation. And ask yourself what you want to say: Is that: True Helpful Inspiring Necessary Kind