Values are like fingerprints. Nobody's are the same, but you leave 'em all over everything you do. - Elvis Presley

The path to authenticity starts with understanding and aligning with your values

This chapter will delve into the importance of values in shaping our actions, thoughts, and decisions. We will explore the two main types of values, personal and cultural, and how they are formed and impact our relationships. We will also discuss the significance of regularly reflecting on our values and the potential conflicts that can arise from misaligned values in relationships.

You will discover:

1. The importance of values and how they shape our actions, thoughts, and decisions

2. Personal values, how they are formed, and their impact on our relationships and interactions with others

3. How values change over time and the importance of regularly reflecting on them

4. The importance of considering the values of others and how misaligned values can lead to conflicts and misunderstandings.

5. Different exercises and techniques to help find your personal values

6. The significance of aligning your values with your personal and professional goals

1. What are core values?

Core values are an agreed set of fundamental beliefs and priorities that help an individual or group of people make consistent, high-integrity decisions.

They’re a prioritized list of what YOU think matters most.

The most effective folks I know (and the best companies in the world) all work from clear mission and value statements. Their mission statement keeps them focused on “What” they want to achieve (having impact or earning profits by helping people achieve a goal). Their core values statement keeps them focused on “How” they want to achieve it. Where trade-offs must be made, core values tell them what to prioritize first.

What Core Values Aren’t…

A common mistake many people make is confusing core values with character traits.

A character trait is a distinguishing quality or characteristic of a person’s behavior, like honesty, integrity or respect. (See this ultimate guide to character traits for a deep-dive.)

A core value is ANYTHING that you value when taking action or making decisions.

Core values can include e.g., your partner’s happiness, time with your kids and getting 8 hours of sleep (personal core values) or e.g., customer satisfaction, fair and meaningful work opportunities and returning a profit to shareholders (company core values).

Here’s a little diagram to help illustrate: Core Values vs. Character Traits

The point is: While all character traits can be used as core values, not all core values have to be character traits.

We’ll come back to this later when we talk about crafting core value statements.

Personal Core Values

Your personal core values are the guiding principles behind your decision making at home, at school or at your work. And here’s the thing: You already have a set of personal core values, even if you’ve never thought them through (or written them down). You are constantly making micro-decisions to put your work before your health, or your integrity before your happiness, or your faith before your desires…

We all are.

But here’s the difference between people who’ve taken the time to think about and write down their personal core values and those who haven’t. People who think about, write down and regularly review their personal core values act faster, more consistently and enjoy a greater sense of purpose.

Why? Because they know what matters to them; they have clear rules to guide and correct their behaviour; and their “How” also acts as a “Why“ to fall back on, even when they’re overwhelmed or their goals fall apart.

Company Core Values

Those same advantages also hold true for Company Core Values. The best companies in the world all work from a clear mission and set of core values. When done well, they work exactly like personal core values, just on a much bigger level. A clear set of company core values helps every single person in the organization (from the CEO to the interns) make consistent decisions with confidence.

When the organizational culture values sustainability or human rights, you know what you can and can’t compromise on when negotiating deals or partnerships.

When the corporate culture values integrity, honesty or safety, you know that you won’t get fired for doing the right thing instead of the thing that’s most profitable.

When the company culture values work-life balance, you know you can stand up to your manager and say no if they try and force you to work on the weekend.

By crafting a clear values system for the organization, leaders empower consistent and independent stewardship of what matters most at every level of the business.

List of Core Values

When thinking about common core values it’s helpful to think about who, what and how:

• Who are the stakeholders you value in your decision making;

• What are the outcomes you want them to experience; and

• How you’ll behave as you deliver those outcomes.

Examples of “Who” in a core values statement might include (A-Z):

• Customers/clients;

• Church;

• Community;

• Company;

• Country;

• Employees;

• Environment

• Family;

• Friends;

• Partners;

• Shareholders;

• State;

• Team; or even your

• God(s)

Examples of “What” in a core values statement might include (A-Z):

• Comfort;

• Fame;

• Growth;

• Happiness;

• Health;

• Human rights;

• Opportunity;

• Peace of mind;

• Performance;

• Pleasure;

• Popularity;

• Profitability;

• Recognition;

• Satisfaction;

• Security;

• Self-respect;

• Speed;

• Status;

• Sustainability; or

• Wealth.

These are the Key Performance Indicators (KPIs) or success factors you care about delivering for the stakeholders you’ve identified.

And examples of “How” in a core values statement might include:

• Authenticity;

• Autonomy;

• Balance;

• Boldness;

• Compassion;

• Fairness;

• Faith

• Fun;

• Competency;

• Dependability;

• Equality;

• Hard work;

• Honesty;

• Love;

• Loyalty;

• Poise;

• Stewardship;

• Sustainability;

• Teamwork; or

• Trust.

These are the character traits you or your organisation will aspire to embody as you deliver your “What”s to your “Who”s day-to-day.

2. The importance of values

Discovering the Foundations of Your Actions and Decisions

As we journey through life, it is important to ask ourselves what our values are and where they come from. These values shape our actions, thoughts, and decisions and ultimately define who we are as a person. There are two main types of values: personal and cultural. Personal values are our own beliefs about right and wrong, and they shape the way we see the world. Cultural values are those accepted by the societies in which we live, and they can vary from place to place. Examples of cultural values include company values and religious values. Personal values can be further broken down into individual and group values, such as values held by a group of friends or family.

Our personal values are formed in childhood, through the values of our family and the people we surround ourselves with. They can also be influenced by our current experiences and the emotions and sentiments we hold about ourselves and the world. Personal values can be positive, leading to self-esteem and fulfillment, or they can be negative and based on limiting beliefs. These values can impact our relationships and interactions with others.

It is essential to regularly reflect on our values to ensure that they align with our goals and help us live a meaningful and fulfilling life. This can involve exploring our passions and interests, practicing mindfulness and self-awareness, seeking feedback and guidance, and taking time to be alone and introspective. By exploring and understanding our values, we can live a more authentic and genuine life that is true to ourselves.

Your values come from your family, experiences, and the people you surround yourself with and shape your life. They influence how you act, speak, and make decisions about everything from your career to personal growth. They also influence how you treat others and interact with the world. Your personal values are based on your feelings and beliefs about yourself and the world around you. These values can be positive or negative and can affect your relationships and interactions with the world. They can either lead to self-esteem and fulfillment or be based on limiting beliefs and cause problems in relationships and our overall interactions with the world at large.

⚡️ Flashcard question: what are personal values and where do they come from? Answer: Personal values are our own beliefs about right and wrong, and they shape the way we see the world. They are formed in childhood through the values of our family and the people we surround ourselves with, and can also be influenced by our current experiences and emotions.

Values change over time

It's important to remember that our values can change over time, influenced by new experiences and personal growth. It's natural for our values to evolve as we age and encounter new situations and perspectives. It's important to be open to the possibility of change and to regularly reassess and reflect on our values to ensure that they still align with who we are and what we want in life. It's also important to be open to learning from others and considering different viewpoints, as this can help us to grow and expand our understanding of the world and ourselves.

Considerations

In addition to reflecting on our own values, it's also important to consider how our values align with the values of others, particularly in close relationships such as friendships and romantic partnerships. It's not necessary for everyone to have the same values, but it can be helpful for there to be some overlap and understanding in order to build a strong and supportive foundation. When our values are misaligned with those of others, it can lead to conflicts and misunderstandings. By being open and honest about our values and actively listening to and respecting the values of others, we can foster healthy and fulfilling relationships.

It's also important to consider the role that cultural values play in our lives. Cultural values are the values that are accepted by the society in which we live, and they can influence our beliefs and behaviors in subtle ways. For example, if one of your cultural values is respect for authority, you may be more likely to follow rules and regulations even if you personally disagree with them. On the other hand, if one of your cultural values is individualism, you may place a greater emphasis on personal freedom and autonomy. Understanding and being aware of cultural values can help us to better understand ourselves and others, and can also inform the choices we make in life.

⚡️ Flashcard question: How can our values change over time?Answer: Our values can be influenced by new experiences and personal growth and may evolve as we age and encounter new situations and perspectives.

3. Where do values come from?

Our values are formed most powerfully in childhood, when children are like sponges soaking up the world around them. They typically pick up on the values of close family members and adopt the values and beliefs they need in order to earn approval and acceptance.

Personal values can also be influenced by current experiences and the people we surround ourselves with. We pick up little pieces from other people, including our family, friends, and significant others, and adopt the characteristics that we like while discarding those that we don't. These experiences and relationships shape our existing personal values and beliefs, which help us to determine what is "good" or "bad."

However, it's important to remember that our values can also change over time, influenced by new experiences and personal growth. It's natural for our values to evolve as we age and encounter new situations and perspectives, and it's important to regularly reassess and reflect on our values to ensure that they still align with who we are and what we want in life.

4. Types of personal values in life

Values are beliefs or principles that are important to a person or group. They help to guide behavior and inform decision-making. In the context of personal values, there are many different types that can be grouped into categories such as morals, aesthetics, and family.

Morals are values that relate to right and wrong behavior. They often involve concepts such as honesty, integrity, fairness, and respect. These types of values are based on laws, religious beliefs or politics. Continents, states and cities tend to develop broad moral values, which are then passed down to those who live in the society. Once they are passed down to us, we then adopt them as personal values.

Aesthetics are values related to beauty and taste. These can include values such as simplicity, elegance, and creativity. Aesthetic values help us make judgments on beauty, artistic talent or music. Aesthetic values are more individualized but can be heavily influenced on how we were raised, who we spend time with and the aesthetic values of our culture.

Family values are values that relate to the importance of family and relationships within the family. These can include values such as loyalty, commitment, and respect for family members. Family values vary from family to family. They relate to how time is spent together, how those within the family unit are treated and the structure of the family. The ultimate answer to “What are values?” is often that they are the same as your family’s values – or at least they start that way. After all, the initial source of your values is typically the immediate family.

There are many other types of personal values that may not fit neatly into these categories, such as values related to personal growth, health, and financial security. There are many different ways that values can be grouped, and there is no one "right" way to categorize them. Here are a few additional groupings of values that may be helpful:

• Personal values: Personal values are values that are unique to an individual and relate to their personal beliefs and goals. These values may include things like independence, responsibility, and compassion.

• Professional values: Professional values are values that relate to a person's career or profession. These values may include things like excellence, professionalism, and teamwork.

• Societal values: Societal values are values that are shared by a society or culture and shape the norms and expectations within that society. These values may include things like equality, justice, and respect for diversity.

• Spiritual values: Spiritual values are values that relate to a person's spiritual or religious beliefs. These values may include things like faith, compassion, and humility.

• Environmental values: Environmental values are values that relate to a person's attitudes and behaviors towards the natural environment. These values may include things like sustainability, conservation, and respect for nature

⚡️ Flashcard question: What are some categories of personal values?Answer: Some categories of personal values include morals, aesthetics, and family values, as well as personal, professional, societal, spiritual, and environmental values.

5. Personal value examples

There are many examples of personal values in life. Because different things matter to different people, it is hard to produce an exhaustive list. Here are just a few that will help you grasp the concept and start to establish your own list of personal values.

• Learning: If you are constantly finding ways to feed your mind with new information and enjoy talking to others so you can discover more about them, learning is likely one of your important personal values.

• Individuality: Do you “march to the beat of your own drummer” and reject the status quo? If you define yourself strictly by your own standards and consistently disregard what others believe is the “right way” to live your life, you value individuality.

• Independence: The concept of freedom, including physical, emotional or financial freedom, is highly important to you. You live a life where the only limit is yourself and you pull from your strength and perseverance to make things happen.

• Generosity: If one of your personal values is generosity, you embody the belief that the secret to living is giving and you likely spend much of your time volunteering, donating or finding other ways to give back.

• Honesty: Honesty is the value of being truthful and transparent in one's words and actions. It involves being genuine and sincere, and not engaging in deceit or deception.

• Respect: Respect is the value of treating others with dignity and appreciation. It involves showing consideration for the feelings, beliefs, and rights of others, and valuing their differences.

• Responsibility: Responsibility is the value of being accountable for one's actions and taking ownership of one's decisions and behaviors. It involves being dependable and trustworthy, and fulfilling one's commitments and obligations.

• Compassion: Compassion is the value of caring for and empathizing with others. It involves feeling concern for the suffering of others and being motivated to help and support them.

• Perseverance: Perseverance is the value of being persistent and resilient in the face of challenges and setbacks. It involves being determined and resilient, and continuing to pursue one's goals despite obstacles and difficulties.

6. How your personal values shape your life

Personal values are like a roadmap for our lives. They guide us and shape who we are as individuals. Our values also influence how we view and interact with others, and they play a huge role in our personal relationships. Personal values are a source of guidance throughout our lives, the values that shape us – they make us who we are – and there’s nothing wrong with that. They are a set of rules that dictate how we interact with and judge other people. Our values also determine how we view ourselves and how we see the world.

Most importantly, values deeply affect our personal relationships. We bring this set of rules into every connection we make – and with rules come expectations. We have perceived concepts of how things “should” be: sometimes these rules are valid and other times they are just plain silly. sometimes, these values can cause problems. We may have certain expectations of the people around us that we don't explicitly communicate, leading to disappointment and frustration when those expectations aren't met. It's important to remember that without knowing what the expectations are, it's impossible for someone to meet them.

Conflict in relationships often arises when our values don't align with those of our partner. When this happens, it's important to re-evaluate whether our values are helping or hindering our success and relationships. If they're causing more harm than good, it may be time to reshape our beliefs or find relationships that are more aligned with our values.

Think about it: When you say or hear things like, "If you loved me, you would always put the toilet seat down," that is a value that we expect the people around us to follow. Ever get upset because someone didn't show up to a party they said they would attend? That is also a value. But not letting people in on your expectations is why expectations can be so dangerous. They can't fulfill a commitment that they didn't know they had.

We get upset with each other all of the time because someone did something to violate one of our personal values. In unhealthy relationships, each person uses the other as a constant sounding board for some rule the other one has violated, resulting in punishment that further harms the partnership.

Understanding and defining our personal values is crucial to building strong, long-lasting relationships. These values act as a set of guidelines that shape how we interact with and judge others, and they can also influence how we see ourselves and the world around us.

But when our values don't align with those of our partner, it can lead to conflict and cause issues in the relationship. In order to avoid this, it's important to regularly assess whether our values are reasonable and whether they are helping or hindering our relationships. If they are causing more harm than good, it may be time to re-evaluate and possibly adjust our values to create more harmony in our relationships. Alternatively, we may need to consider finding relationships with individuals or groups whose values align more closely with our own.

By taking an honest look at our values and how they impact our relationships, we can work towards finding more fulfillment and success in our personal connections.

So what are your values and where do they come from? How do they help or hinder you? Are these beliefs having a positive impact on your success and relationships, or are they holding you back? By taking an objective look at your beliefs and deciding how you can alter them to better suit your goals, you can ultimately find more fulfillment.

Let’s find your core values in the next chapter!

💡 Flashcard question: What are core values and why are they important? Answer: Core values are the fundamental beliefs that guide a person's actions and decisions. They serve as the foundation of personal and professional goals, and are important because they help individuals make decisions that align with what is most important to them.

7. How to find your personal values

1. Here are 5 simple steps to creating a personal core values statement

   1. Grab a pen and paper;

   2. List the Who’s, What’s and How’s that matter to you;

   3. Prioritise the list;

   4. Turn it into a core values statement; and

   5. Test it, refine it and repeat.

   Identifying your core values is an important step in personal growth and development. Your core values are the fundamental beliefs that guide your actions and decisions, and they serve as the foundation of your personal and professional goals. To find your core values, try the following exercises. These questions will provide answers that will reveal your personal values in life. Once you have your list of important values, you can start to prioritize your life according to what is most important to you.

   Grab a pen and paper.

   Your brain is NOT very good at keeping lots of different thoughts in short-term memory so you will find it MUCH easier to think clearly if you get stuff out of your head and on paper.

   List the Who’s, What’s and How’s that matter to you.

   Here’s a recap from the section on who, what and how above…

   Who are the stakeholders you value in your decision making;
   What are the outcomes you want them to experience; and
   How describes how you’ll behave to deliver those outcomes.
   

   DON’T hesitate to borrow from the list of core values or real life examples above.

   DON’T worry about filtering what comes out. Write EVERYTHING down, even if the thought seems or sounds silly before or as soon as you’ve finished writing it.

   Keeping an open mind and avoiding filtering (at this stage) creates more space in your head for the good thoughts to get out in the open.

   3. Prioritise the list.

   If your core values statement is too long, you’ll find it hard to remember (and live by).

   The goal then, is to cut your long list of core values down to just 10 or fewer most important values statements. (There’s a reason there are only e.g., 10 commandments in Christianity and e.g., 10 percepts in Taoism).

   To prioritise your core values:

   Do a rough pass: Trust your gut to eliminate as many less important and highlight as many most important core values as you can; then
   Do a fine pass: Pick two core values on your list and ask yourself: “If I had to pick between one of these core values when making a decision, which one would be more important.” Repeat until you’ve ranked all the core values statements on your list.
   

   The fine pass process is hard work and emotionally draining. Don’t be afraid to split it out over several short sessions.

   TIP: The more core values you eliminate on the rough pass, the faster the fine pass will go.

   When you’re done, take the top 10 core values on your list and…

   4. Turn it into a core values statement;

   Make any further edits and feel to group the remaining values on your core values statement if it makes sense. Then write them out one last time on a clean sheet of paper (or into a digital note). Don’t be afraid to decorate and format your core values statement nicely.

   I’ll talk about making core values stick in the next section but for now, it’s important that your core values statement is something that’s easy and enjoyable to read.

   And finally…

   5. Test it, refine it and repeat.

   Here’s the thing…

   You will NOT write the perfect core values statement on your first pass.

   And that’s OK.

   Review your core values statement often (I read mine every morning).

   Get out there and see how if feels to live by the values you’ve set.

   Then constantly tweak and refine them as you gather more data.

   Your personal core values statement is NOT a set-it-and-forget-it instruction manual.

   It’s a living document that will reflect not only your constantly improving understanding of what really matters to you, but also the fact that what matters to you constantly changes as YOU and your life change around it.

   The important thing is you’ve taken the first and hardest step in your journey.

   And the only way to version 100 is through version 1.

2. QUESTIONS EXERCISE. If you aren’t sure what your personal values are, start by thinking about what makes you feel good. These emotions will serve as a good guide to defining your personal values. Ask yourself some questions to dive deeper into your true thoughts and feelings. These feelings are driven by your personal values. Here is a list of questions to get you started:

   • When you think about your life, what is the most important aspect? What are the most important things in life to me? What are the things that you prioritize in your life, and why are they important to you?

   • What sort of news or stories inspire you?

   • What sort of news or stories depress you?

   • If you could change anything about the world, what would it be?

   • What do I believe in and why? Consider what you stand for (principles and beliefs).

   • What experiences have shaped who I am and what I believe in?

   • When were you the happiest?

   • At what point in your life were you the saddest?

   • What are my long-term goals and how do they align with my values?

3. ADMIRE EXERCISE. Who do you admire the most in life (friends, family, and other role models (fictional or non-fictional)? What about them is admirable to you? Think of the most loyal person you know. The most creative. The most generous, individualistic, or compassionate. Identify the qualities and characteristics that are most important to you. Do you value honesty, integrity, compassion, or creativity? Do you prioritize ambition, hard work, or collaboration? Do you know that feeling: to love or despise characters from books, films, or series? This says something about your core values. The actions of these characters are in conflict or aligned with what you find important in life. By gaining insight into your favorite heroes and villains, you will gain a little more insight into your own core values in this run-up exercise. We all have people in our lives who stand out in a particular way. There’s a reason for this. These people stand out for us because of their strong values. Reflect on whether you want to cultivate similar values in your own life. Consider what actions you can take to live by those values in a similar way.

4. BEHAVIOR EXERCISE. You can also try to identify your values by examining your behaviors and decisions. Think about times when you have made difficult choices and ask yourself why you made those choices. What motivated you to act in a certain way?

5. MOTIVATION EXERCISE. Consider your motivations and priorities. What drives you and motivates you to take action? Think about what makes you feel fulfilled and satisfied. What do you enjoy doing? What do you find meaningful and rewarding? What do you want to contribute to the world? Reflect on your experiences and accomplishments. Think about the moments in your life that you are most proud of, and the experiences that have been most fulfilling. Consider what these experiences have in common and what values they reflect.

6. FEEDBACK EXERCISE. Ask for feedback from others. Talk to people who know you well, such as friends, family, or colleagues, and ask them to share their observations about your values and priorities.

7. VISUALISATION EXERCISE. It may also be helpful to consider what you want to be known for. If someone were to describe you to someone else, what would you want them to say? This can give you insight into the values that are most important to you.

8. REFLECTION EXERCISE. Reflect on how your values align with your actions and decisions. Do your actions align with your values? Are you living in accordance with your values?

9. TESTS. There are a number of online tests and quizzes available that can help you identify your core values. These tests typically ask a series of questions about your beliefs, attitudes, and behaviors, and use your responses to determine your most important values. Some examples of online tests that may be useful include:

   1. The VIA Survey of Character Strengths: This test, developed by positive psychology experts Martin Seligman and Christopher Peterson, is designed to help you identify your top character strengths and values. It is based on research on virtues and strengths that are universal across cultures and can be accessed for free at https://www.viacharacter.org/

   2. The Core Values Index: This test, developed by businessman and author Tom Paterson, is designed to help you identify your top six core values. It is based on research on values that are universal across cultures and can be accessed for a fee at https://www.corevalues.com/.

   3. The Values Test: This test, developed by values expert Dr. Drew Pinsky, is designed to help you identify your top values in the areas of relationships, personal growth, work, and leisure. It is based on research on values that are universal across cultures and can be accessed for free at https://www.drinkaware.co.uk/advice/personality-tests/values-test/.

   4. The Personal Values Assessment: This test, developed by values expert Dr. Donald Clifton, is designed to help you identify your top values in the areas of family, health, social, financial, and spiritual. It is based on research on values that are universal across cultures and can be accessed for free at https://www.gallupstrengthscenter.com/home/en-us/pva.

   5. The Value Gene Test: This test, developed by values expert Dr. Robert Betz, is designed to help you identify your top values in the areas of power, achievement, relationships, and personal growth. It is based on research on values that are universal across cultures and can be accessed for free at https://www.robertbetz.com/en/value-gene-test/.

   6. The Personal Values Self-Assessment: This test, developed by personal growth expert Dr. Rick Hanson, is designed to help you identify your top values in the areas of health, relationships, work, personal growth, and spirituality. It is based on research on values that are universal across cultures and can be accessed for free at https://www.happinessplanner.com/pages/personal-values-assessment

   Keep in mind that these tests are designed to help you identify your values, but they are not a substitute for self-reflection and introspection. It is important to take the time to think about what is truly important to you and how your values shape your actions, thoughts, and decisions.

💡 Flashcard question: How can you find your core values? Answer: There are several steps you can take to find your core values. These include reflecting on your experiences and accomplishments, examining your behaviors and decisions, asking for feedback from others, and considering what you admire in others.

7. Important remarks when you do these exercises

• Be kind to yourself.

• Be patient.

• Be honest. Don’t feel guilty.

• Write your values down. Take some time to think about your answers and reflect on your core values. Write down your thoughts and insights, and try to narrow down your values to a handful of key principles that are most important to you.

• Create a guide to make decisions and set goals that align with what is most important to you. Make a plan to incorporate your values into your daily life. You can set goals and make decisions that align with your values.

• You can also surround yourself with people who share your values and support your growth. This can help you live a more fulfilling and authentic life, and make choices that are in line with your deepest beliefs and desires.

• It’s all about reflection. Leave your notes somewhere accessible and write down gained insights. Continuously reflect on your values and reassess them as needed. Your values may change over time, and it's important to regularly evaluate them to ensure they align with your current beliefs and goals.

💡 Flashcard question: Once you have identified your core values, what can you do with them?Answer: Once you have identified your core values, you can use them as a guide to make decisions and set goals that align with what is most important to you. You can also surround yourself with people who share your values and support your growth. This can help you live a more fulfilling and authentic life and make choices that are in line with your deepest beliefs and desires.

Conclusion

In conclusion, values play a crucial role in shaping our actions, thoughts, and decisions. By understanding the importance of values and where they come from, we can better align them with our goals and aspirations in life. Identifying and understanding your personal values is a crucial step in personal growth and development. Your values serve as the foundation of your personal and professional goals and help guide your actions and decisions. Reflecting on your values and being open to new perspectives can help you cultivate a more authentic and genuine life that aligns with what is most important to you. So, take the time to reflect on your values and finding your core values. It's a journey worth taking.

Now that you have a better understanding of the importance of values, and how to find yours, it's time to dive deeper and examine the core needs that drive your actions and decisions. The next chapter will guide you through the process of understanding Maslow's Hierarchy of Human Needs and how they influence your behavior. It will also explore the importance of taking action to meet your needs in order to live a fulfilling and satisfying life.

Quiz

1. What are the two main types of values?

   A) Personal and cultural

   B) Positive and negative

   C) Individual and group

   D) All of the above

   Explanation: The correct answer is A) Personal and cultural. Personal values are our own beliefs about right and wrong, while cultural values are those accepted by the societies in which we live.

2. What can personal values be based on?

   A) Family, experiences, and the people we surround ourselves with

   B) Positive emotions and feelings

   C) Negative beliefs and emotions

   D) All of the above

   Explanation: The correct answer is D) All of the above. Personal values are formed in childhood through the values of our family and the people we surround ourselves with, and can also be influenced by our current experiences and emotions. They can be based on positive feelings and beliefs, or they can be negative and based on limiting beliefs.

3. Why is it important to regularly reassess and reflect on our values?

   A) To ensure that they align with who we are and what we want in life

   B) To be open to learning from others and considering different viewpoints

   C) To foster healthy and fulfilling relationships

   D) All of the above

   Explanation: The correct answer is D) All of the above. It's important to regularly reassess and reflect on our values to ensure that they still align with who we are and what we want in life. It's also important to be open to learning from others and considering different viewpoints, as this can help us to grow and expand our understanding of the world and ourselves. Additionally, being open and honest about our values and actively listening to and respecting the values of others can help us to foster healthy and fulfilling relationships.

4. What are morals?

   A) Values related to right and wrong behavior

   B) Values related to beauty and taste

   C) Values related to the importance of family and relationships within the family

   D) Values that are unique to an individual and relate to their personal beliefs and goals

   Explanation: The correct answer is A) Values related to right and wrong behavior. Morals are values that relate to right and wrong behavior and often involve concepts such as honesty, integrity, fairness, and respect. They are based on laws, religious beliefs or politics and are often passed down from society to individuals.

5. What are aesthetic values?

   A) Values related to right and wrong behavior

   B) Values related to beauty and taste

   C) Values related to the importance of family and relationships within the family

   D) Values that are shared by a society or culture and shape the norms and expectations within that society

   Explanation: The correct answer is B) Values related to beauty and taste. Aesthetic values are values related to beauty and taste and can include values such as simplicity, elegance, and creativity. They help us make judgments on beauty, artistic talent or music.

6. What is the first step in identifying your core values?

   A) Reflecting on your own values

   B) Asking for feedback from others

   C) Examining your behaviors and decisions

   D) Considering your motivations and priorities

   Explanation: The correct answer is A) Reflecting on your own values. The first step in identifying your core values is to take some time to reflect on your personal values and make a list of your top 5-10 values.

7. What is the purpose of identifying your core values?

   A) To align them with your goals and aspirations in life

   B) To impress others

   C) To gain more followers on social media

   D) To make more money

   Explanation: The correct answer is A) To align them with your goals and aspirations in life. Identifying your core values is an important step in personal growth and development, and it helps you prioritize your life according to what is most important to you.

8. What are the two main types of values?

   A) Personal and cultural

   B) Positive and negative

   C) Individual and group

   D) All of the above

   Explanation: The correct answer is A) Personal and cultural. Personal values are our own beliefs about right and wrong, while cultural values are those accepted by the societies in which we live.

9. Why is it important to reflect on your values regularly?

   A) To change them if they no longer align with your goals and aspirations

   B) To make sure they align with the life you want to live

   C) To make sure you are being true to yourself

   D) All of the above

   Explanation: The correct answer is D) All of the above. Reflecting on your values regularly helps you understand them better, and it allows you to make changes if they no longer align with your goals and aspirations. It also helps you to make sure they align with the life you want to live and to be true to yourself.

10. What is the importance of considering the values of others?

    A) To understand where they come from

    B) To avoid conflicts and misunderstandings

    C) To align them with your own values

    D) All of the above Explanation: The correct answer is B) To avoid conflicts and misunderstandings. Understanding the values of others can help you to avoid conflicts and misunderstandings, and it can also help you to understand where they come from.

How to apply this in your life today?

1. Reflect on your own values: Take some time to reflect on your personal values. Make a list of your top 5-10 values and think about why they are important to you and where they come from. Consider how they shape your actions and decisions in your daily life. Reflect on if they align with your goals and aspirations in life and how you can align them better. This exercise will help you understand your values better and how to make sure they align with the life you want to live.

2. Exercise: Identifying your core needs

   • Take some time to reflect on the different needs you have in your life. These needs may include things like safety, love and belonging, esteem, self-actualization, etc.

   • Think about how these needs manifest in your life. For example, do you often feel the need for safety and security in your relationships? Do you find yourself seeking out recognition and validation from others?

   • Make a list of your top 3-5 needs and think about how they align with your values. Are there any discrepancies?

   • Consider what actions you can take to better meet your core needs in a way that aligns with your values.

   The importance of this exercise is that by understanding your core needs, you can make decisions and take actions that align with what is truly important to you. It allows you to live a more authentic and fulfilling life.

Food for Thought

1. What is the true definition of 'right' and 'wrong'? How do personal and cultural values play a role in determining this?

2. Is it possible to have a fulfilling and authentic life if our values are constantly changing?

3. How do we navigate conflicts in relationships when our values are misaligned with those of others?

4. How do our core values influence our relationships and interactions with others?

5. In what ways can conflicts in values cause problems in relationships and interactions with the world?

6. How do cultural values shape our personal values?

Expand Your Understanding

1. "The Power of Values" podcast episode by Brené Brown on the Unlocking Us podcast (https://brenebrown.com/podcast/brene-brown-the-power-of-values/)

2. "The Value of Values" TED talk by Simon Sinek (https://www.ted.com/talks/simon_sinek_the_value_of_values)

3. "The Values Factor: The Secret to Creating an Inspired and Fulfilling Life" by Dr. John Demartini (https://www.amazon.com/Values-Factor-Secret-Creating-Fulfilling/dp/1401945758)

4. "The Power of Values" by Dr. Robert C. Solomon, available on Amazon

5. "The Art of Possibility" by Rosamund Stone Zander and Benjamin Zander, available on Amazon