1. Effective communications with an audience

https://www.tonyrobbins.com/ask-tony/effective-communication/

The key to effective communication is understanding how communication models actually work. How are you connecting with those around you? Are you practicing good communication or just projecting an unimportant message? Is your message really being received? What communication style are you using to convey your message?

Step 1: Build identification and rapport

• Establish a connection with your audience by finding common ground and asking questions to learn more about them.

• Use small talk and personal anecdotes to make a connection with your audience and make them more receptive to your message.

Step 2: Logic & reason

• Present the facts and reasoning behind your message to justify an emotional decision.

• Use storytelling and natural integration of information to provide logical justification for your message while maintaining engagement with your audience.

Step 3: Attack & confess

• Anticipate and address possible objections to your message.

• Highlight the consequences of not following through with your suggestion and use personal anecdotes to make yourself relatable.

Step 4: Solution

• Outline the solution to the challenges discussed in the previous step.

• Highlight the positive outcomes and benefits of following through with your suggestion.

Step 5: Ask for the action (final inches)

• Clearly ask your audience to take the desired action.

2. How to get through to someone

The text explains how understanding the "metaprograms" of the person you are communicating with can help to effectively solve communication problems. Metaprograms are the basic strategies that people use to process information, such as whether they focus on similarities or differences, or whether they have an internal or external frame of reference. The text states that when you fail to get your message across to someone, you don't need to change the content of the message, you just need to be able to adjust the form of the message to fit the other person's metaprograms. The text also gives an example of how the author used this understanding of metaprograms to solve a communication problem with a business partner.

Fun story Listen deeply – then adjust your approach

3. How to get anything you want

https://www.tonyrobbins.com/leadership-impact/five-steps-for-getting-anything-you-want/

Five Steps for Getting Anything You Want - A Guide to Manifesting Your Dreams"

Step #1: Ask Specifically - The first step in getting anything you want is to be clear and specific about what you want. This means defining exactly what you need, why you need it, and when you need it. It also means being able to show the person you're asking what you'll do with what you're asking for.

Step #2: Ask Someone Who Can Help You - The next step is to find someone with the resources you need and ask them for help. This doesn't mean relying on them to do the work for you, but by getting another perspective and examining someone else's success, you might succeed, too.

Step #3: Prime Yourself for Success - Even if you're feeling a lack of self-confidence, you can prime yourself for success by bringing your thoughts, feelings, and physical body into harmony. By building a practice of mindfulness, you can use physical and mental exercises to center yourself, and set yourself on the path to understanding how to manifest anything you want.

Step #4: Leverage Your Resources - If you're feeling overwhelmed trying to reach a goal, it could be that you're not using your resources to their full potential. Your existing network, career training, and life experiences are valuable sources of information and support, so use them wisely. This is the power behind leveraging, when you're resourceful, you can accomplish far more than you think is possible.

Step #5: Ask Until You Get What You Want - Learning how to manifest anything you want requires persistence and determination. This final step is all about taking action and continuing to ask until you get what you want. Whether you're looking for a better job, a better relationship, or more time with your family, keep asking until you get the outcome you desire.

4. Persuasion

https://www.tonyrobbins.com/leadership-impact/finding-the-right-key/

The three elements of persuasion

In our quest to avoid pain and feel pleasure, we are constantly answering the question, “What’s in it for me?” Will this action help me avoid pain? Will it bring me enjoyment or fulfillment? Why do I need to do it right now? The answers to these questions fall into three categories – and they’re the key to how to convince someone to do something. DRAB: Dominant reasons to avoid buying

Humans may want to avoid pain and maximize pleasure, but we also don’t like being told what to do. It’s so common, it has a name: psychological reactance. When we sense “threats to freedom” – like the freedom to choose what to do with our money, our time and our lives – we often do the opposite. It’s part of the reason people always seem to be able to come up with reasons to avoid buying your product or otherwise doing what you want them to do. DRAB can also include logical reasons, such as not having enough time or money. You can overcome all of these reasons using the next two elements of persuasion.

how to convince someone to do something ERBN: Emotional Reasons to Buy Now

Emotional reasoning is pathos, from the Greek word for feeling or experience. Emotional pull is the most essential part of how to persuade someone to do something. With a friend or partner, you might explain how meaningful a certain action would be to you. In advertising and sales, this includes techniques like using cute animals, inspirational music and great storytelling, like beating overwhelming odds or finding true love. ERBN leaves prospects with a “want” – they want to feel the way you’re describing. LRBN: Logical reasons to buy now

Have you employed all your best ERBN, but you still haven’t uncovered how to convince someone to do something? It’s time for LRBN. Logical reasoning is known as logos, from the word for reason or plan. It appeals to prospects’ “needs” by explaining directly and logically how they will benefit from your product, plan or idea. It’s often a great antidote to DRAB, because this reasoning speaks directly to real concerns. Will your product or idea save the person money or time? Will it help them lead a healthy lifestyle? Appealing to logic can be an influential component of persuasion.

how to persuade someone to do something How to persuade someone to do something

To learn how to convince someone to do something, you must tailor your argument to speak to their DRAB, ERBN and LRBN. In his program Mastering Influence, Tony dives into eight questions that every prospect – or friend, relative or coworker – has on their mind as you’re persuading them.

1. What is this?

2. What’s in it for me?

3. Can you prove it?

4. Will this really give me what I want and need?

5. If I do this, will it be worth it?

6. Can I justify it?

7. What will other people say?

8. Do I really need it now?

Answer these questions for your prospect using ERBN and LRBN, and you’ll ease their DRAB and make the sale. That’s how to convince someone to do something in an ethical, empowering way.

5. Gain the upper hand in negotiations

https://www.tonyrobbins.com/career-business/how-to-gain-the-upper-hand-in-a-negotiation/

Life, and business, are a series of negotiations. Whether you’re negotiating a contract for a new job, creating or dissolving a business partnership or negotiating with your spouse over who will make dinner that night, negotiation is an unavoidable – and often uncomfortable – part of life. This discomfort can make the prospect of learning negotiation tactics seem daunting unless we understand their value.

In any type of negotiation, we all desire to give the illusion of control so we can gain the upper hand – but in order to do so, it helps to know what others are thinking and feeling. Are they walking into the negotiation feeling confident? Are they firm in their offer, or are they willing to budge? Are they happy with the offer that’s on the table? If only we knew the answers to these questions, we then could more confidently and accurately determine our next move. Understanding where the other party is coming from is central to the best negotiation tactics, which are designed to facilitate a mutually desirable outcome.

The best negotiation tactics hinge on communication

Communication in all its forms is central to the best negotiation tactics. Effective communication allows you to assess the other party’s perspective and communicate your own diplomatically. In addition to spoken words, there are many non-verbal cues that can help you to determine what other people are thinking or how they’re feeling, even if they put on a strong poker face. In fact, our non-verbal actions speak much louder than our words. Most people would be surprised to learn that 55% of communication is non-verbal, 38% of communication is voice inflection and only 7% of communication comes from the words that we say.

To better understand what these non-verbal cues are and how they inform our negotiation tactics, we spoke to body language expert and Leadership Academy speaker, Jan Hargrave. The following list details the “top 10” best negotiation tactics to help you gain the upper hand every time.  Top 10 best negotiation tactics

The best negotiation tactics require observing the other party while steering your interaction with them.

1. Watch for facial expressions

Believing what a person’s facial expressions tell you is among the tried-and-true negotiation tactics. As Jan says, “If their facial expressions don’t match what they’re saying, then most likely the words that they’re saying are not genuine to them. There must be some congruence between the facial expressions and what they’re verbalizing. For example, if I say, ‘I love you,’ yet my face is angry and similar to that of someone who hates you, you would trust my face more than you would trust the words coming out of my mouth.”

2. Assess body angle

“If someone is speaking with you, you should be square shouldered with them, and their body angle should be facing toward you – because we always point our bodies where our minds want to go. But if I’m speaking with you and my body is angled toward the door, that would indicate, ‘I want to hurry up and finish this, because I need to be somewhere else.’ People lean forward when they’re interested, and they lean away if they’re not interested. For example, if you have something that you really like, you’ll go toward it to touch it – but if it’s something you’re afraid of, you’re going to lean backwards. It’s the same thing when you’re in a negotiation with someone.”

3. Observe foot angle

Along with body language, observing the other party’s foot placement is among the time-tested negotiation tactics for understanding your opponent. Jan says, “When their foot is pointed toward you, they’re usually engaged in the conversation that they’re having with you. If their foot is not pointed toward you, and it is pointed toward the door, they want to quickly make an exit.”

4. Notice arm position

“When you look at their arms, notice if they’re crossed or uncrossed. It’s okay to casually cross arms when you’re talking to someone, but the only acceptable arm crossing is when hands and fingers are showing. When their hands and fingers are showing, it indicates that the person is in contemplation. When their arms are crossed and their hands aren’t showing at all, it’s as though they have a shield in front of themselves, protecting them from receiving your information. When someone is double-crossed closed, with both their arms crossed and their legs crossed, they’re feeling defensive and closed off to the negotiation.”

5. Keep an eye on the hands

The best negotiation tactics require keeping an eye on the other party’s hands. According to Jan, “When a person sits back, clasps his hands behind his head and leans back, that’s a negative gesture. It’s a gesture of confidence, but it’s too strong of a gesture to be done in a room of just two people. It’s equivalent to a person who has his feet up on the desk and thinking, ‘I am better than you are.’”

6. Observe the other party’s use of physical space

“The size of space you need around you while negotiating can indicate to another how much power you feel you have. For example, if you saw three limousines driving down the freeway and one is larger than the other two, you’d naturally think the most important person is in the largest of the three. So if someone is taking up a lot of space in a meeting room, it portrays the image, ‘I need all of this space because I’m going to be the one in control of the room.’ You can give the aura that you need more space by spreading your books out a little bit further than you need or by resting one of your arms on the arm of the chair that you’re sitting in. And on the flipside, if the person you’re negotiating with is taking up a lot of physical space, then you know they want control of the room.”

7. Listen more than you talk

Deep listening is one of the most valuable negotiation tactics you can cultivate, since it allows you to dig deep into the other party’s psyche. If you go into a negotiation with the intention to talk, you’re not able to discover the nuances of what the other party is hoping to gain. You also risk creating a dynamic of dominance instead of collaboration, which can shut down deliberations. By listening, you open up space for finding solutions that work for both parties.

8. Frame the negotiation to create mutual appeal

Instead of framing the negotiation as an argument, frame it by what both parties are looking to gain, whether that’s money, publicity, time or another outcome. Your ability to frame the dialogue is one of the best negotiation tactics you can develop, since it sets the stage for a smoother dialogue that ultimately gives you the upper hand.

9. Gain something from any concession

When you’re in deliberations, it can be tempting to cave to the other party in hopes of getting them to soften. This approach almost always backfires, since it creates the appearance that what you were asking for initially was in fact asking too much. Instead, use concessions as negotiation tactics to create leverage. If the other party wants you to drop your sale price, negotiate that you’ll do so if they sign a longer-term contract in return. This way, you’re not losing out – you’re creating pathways to a mutually-beneficial conclusion.

10. Know when to fold

Even the best negotiation tactics fall flat when one or both parties is unwilling to reach a compromise. In deliberations and all of life, you must know when to walk away. If the other party isn’t willing to budge, or if what they’re willing to offer isn’t on par with what you need, be willing to part ways.

• Do your research and prepare thoroughly Before entering into a negotiation, it's important to do your homework and gather as much information as possible about the other party, the issue at hand, and potential outcomes. This will give you a stronger foundation for negotiating and allow you to be more confident and decisive in your approach.

• Set clear goals and priorities Before entering into a negotiation, take some time to identify your own goals and priorities. This will help you stay focused and make better decisions during the negotiation process.

• Use objective criteria to support your position When negotiating, it's helpful to use objective criteria to support your position, rather than simply relying on your own subjective preferences or opinions. This can include things like market data, industry standards, or past precedent.

• Build rapport and establish trust Establishing trust and building rapport with the other party can be crucial for a successful negotiation. This may involve finding common ground, showing empathy and understanding, and being open and honest in your communication.

• Stay flexible and open to compromise Negotiations often involve give and take, and it's important to be open to compromise and consider different options. This may involve being willing to split the difference, trading one thing for another, or finding a mutually beneficial solution.

• Use effective communication and active listening skills Effective communication and active listening skills are essential for successful negotiation. This involves being clear and concise in your messaging, and also paying attention to and acknowledging the other party's perspective and needs.

• Use positive body language and nonverbal cues Nonverbal cues such as eye contact, facial expressions, and posture can be important indicators of how the other party is feeling and can help to build rapport and trust.

• Use power and leverage wisely Power and leverage can be important factors in a negotiation, but it's important to use them wisely and ethically. This may involve finding ways to build consensus or persuade the other party rather than resorting to threats or coercion.

• Be aware of and manage your emotions Emotions can be a powerful force in negotiations, and it's important to be aware of and manage your own emotions as well as those of the other party. This may involve staying calm and composed, even in difficult or stressful situations.

• Know when to walk away

6. Reasons nobody listens to you

https://www.tonyrobbins.com/limiting-beliefs-guide/nobody-listens-to-me/

“No one listens to me” is a common refrain in both personal relationships and in the workplace, especially with remote work making it even more difficult to connect with others and build trust. It’s a result of a combination of factors, but it comes down to one central issue: You’re not making a connection.

It’s tempting to write off no one listening to you as their problem, not yours. Remember that the only person you can control in the world is yourself. Commit to self-improvement first and you’ll be amazed at the results.

Take the first step to overcoming your limiting beliefs Why does no one listen to me?

There are three likely reasons that no one listens to you – and four things you can start doing today to work on how to get people to listen to you.

1. Your limiting beliefs are holding you back

Limiting beliefs are negative beliefs we hold about ourselves that prevent us from achieving our dreams. When it comes to thoughts like, “Nobody listens to me,” you may believe that your communication skills aren’t good enough, so you don’t make the effort to get others to listen to you. A belief that you don’t actually deserve to be listened to can cause you to come off as unsure or indecisive – two traits that won’t inspire others to follow you.

“No one listens to me” is a frequent thought for introverts, who may believe they are just not loud enough to be heard. The truth is that you don’t have to be the loudest one in the room. You just need to work on being assertive – and that starts with replacing your limiting beliefs with empowering ones.

2. You’re not speaking with passion

Have you ever heard someone explain a complicated, boring topic and make it sound fascinating? They were likely very passionate ­– and people respond to passion, no matter the subject. You can speak with all the confidence in the world, but if you don’t have passion you will not keep your audience interested.

If you find yourself asking, “Why does no one listen to me?,” you must connect what you’re talking about to your purpose. When you deeply believe in what you’re saying and are able to see how it contributes to your ultimate goals and dreams in life, you’ll be much more convincing.

3. You’re not adding value

Do you find yourself talking just to talk? Do you interrupt others or repeat what they say? Communication is about more than confidence – it’s about adding value. If you’re not contributing to a discussion meaningfully, you will be ignored.

Great leaders know that to get people to listen to you, you must put them first. They’re able to adapt their talking points to the needs of the other person and adjust their communication style to get their point across. Combined with passion, this ability to add value is what allows them to influence people. How to get people to listen to you

No matter the reason you’re thinking, “Nobody listens to me,” there are strategies you can use to fix the problem and build your communication skills.

Know when to talk

Leaders like Elon Musk never think, “No one listens to me.” They have a habit of pausing when they are asked tough questions. They know when to talk and when to take a moment and think. In fact, the people who talk the most are often listened to the least because they are easier to tune out. When you pause and then provide a thoughtful answer, you’ll come across as smarter and more confident.

Send the right signals

Your body language also helps you look more confident and attentive. Sit up straight and throw your shoulders back. Make eye contact, mirror the movements of your audience and provide nonverbal feedback like nodding. Practice deep listening to make others feel heard before you start talking. When you do speak, approach the problem or topic with positivity, passion and authority.

Make it about them

The best leaders are able to uncover what inspires others and then use that to communicate their own ideas. When you think, “No one listens to me,” you’re making it about yourself. But when you listen deeply and ask the right questions, you’re making it about the other person. That’s how you’ll encourage them to open up to you. Then you can look for common ground and start building a connection.

Provide solutions

If you’re thinking, “Nobody listens to me,” that may not be the problem at all. People may be listening – they’re just not sure what you want from them. Tony says, “Identify your problems, but give your power and energy to solutions.” Don’t complain without thinking about what comes next. Get to the point. Then be clear about next steps – and have a solution ready to go.

7. Become a master of influence

https://www.tonyrobbins.com/career-business/become-a-master-of-influence/

Tony Robbins with a beard pointing his finger The number one thing that impacts people is the skill of influence. If you are going to be a leader in your family, your community, your business, and even in yourself – you must master this skill. How do you influence someone? By harnessing the power of identity.

The strongest force in the human personality is the need to stay consistent with how we define ourselves.

Identity is a set of beliefs and rules that you use to define yourself and that other people use to define you. Your identity influences people more than anything you say ever will. In business, we call this a brand. For example, when you hear someone mention the company Apple, many people think of words like innovative, revolutionary, sophisticated, sleek.

Exercise: Think about your personal brand. What words would you use to describe yourself? What words do you want other people to associate with you – honest, dependable, creative? Take 10 minutes and create an exhaustive list.

The outcome is to expand upon your identity. As you add more to your brand, your whole world will expand.

How to stand out in a crowded world David Meerman Scott reveals 5 ways to generate attention for your business Posted by: David Meerman Scott

a person holding a microphone We’re living in a communications revolution and to be successful, you need to be a part of the new world order. Today people communicate in real time. Social networks are easy to use, completely free, and reach every human on the planet with an internet connection, so it’s no wonder that billions of people around the world have gravitated to them.

However, the result can be a polarizing and cold digital world, with tidal waves of spam email and social networks that display advertisements instead of our friends and fake news instead of fun stuff. With so many people competing for online attention, it’s become more difficult for companies and individuals to build the kind of trust that leads to a growing relationship with customers over time.

So how can we generate attention in today’s crowded world? Here are five ways:

It’s not about you. It’s about your buyers.

Today, buyers are in charge.

With near perfect information available on the web and social media, the idea of mystery in the sales process is over. Your buyers are conducting independent research as they look to work with companies and buy products and services. There is no more ‘selling’ — there is only buying. We research companies before taking a first meeting — who is the CEO? We head over to LinkedIn before meeting a job candidate — does she have anyone I know in her network? We check out product reviews before making a purchase. We watch a movie trailer before deciding which film to see.

When buyers have near perfect information on the web, it means we must transform from sellers to authorities and your organization must tell a story.

The key is to understand your buyers, carefully identifying and defining target audiences and consider what content is required to meet their needs.

Who are my buyers? How do I reach them online and in social media? What are the market problems I can help them solve? How can I entertain them and inform them (and maybe even make them laugh)?

But few people take the time to understand buyers! We have a tremendous opportunity to stand out and get noticed just by focusing on buyers’ needs and being active online and in social media. 2. Buyers don’t care about your products and services

Many entrepreneurs who learned about marketing in the old days feel compelled to talk way too much about their products and services. But nobody cares about your products and services (except you)! As Tony often says, the biggest mistake most businesses make is falling in love with their product or service, not with their clients.

What people do care about is how an organization can solve their problems. People also like to be entertained and to share in something remarkable. You must resist the urge to hype your products and services. Instead, create something interesting that will be talked about online. When you get people talking, they will line up to learn more and to buy what you have to offer.

Here are a few specific actions that can help you immediately:

Rather than use overused cliché words like “best of breed”, “cutting edge”, and “innovative” to describe what you do, start by understanding the words and phrases that your buyers use to describe their problems. Understand that people crave authenticity and transparency. Being truthful and empathetic rather than using hype and spin will attract more people to you. Don’t send unwanted messages and advertising. Instead, publish online content they want to consume.

Educate your buyers instead of selling

In today’s marketplace of ideas, successful entrepreneurs educate and inform. Instead of talking up their products and services, they highlight their expertise by sharing videos, content-rich websites, social streams, blogs, e-books, and images. Rather than using the old sales playbook of information hoarding you need to freely publish content that people will enjoy consuming.

We also have the ability to interact and participate in conversations that other people begin on social media and review sites. If somebody asks a question on Twitter or LinkedIn or Amazon, that’s your chance to interact! There are always people looking for your expertise and being helpful is a great way to reach people when the moment is right.

The best teachers are respected by their marketplace. People will seek you out when you help them and they will be eager to do business with you! 4. The power of real-time communications

We’re living a real-time 24×7 world! News feeds and social channels like Twitter are instantaneous. That means you need to engage with the market on their time, not yours. Gone are the days when you could plan out your marketing and public relations programs in advance and release them on your timetable.

Real-time means right now, not this afternoon and not tomorrow. Today suddenly and unpredictably go viral to a global audience and you need to be ready. If you are early to see an opportunity and are the first to act on it, there is a huge potential to stand out from the crowd.

I recommend that you monitor a real time news feed on a regular basis. I use Google News but there are many other sources. I also suggest monitoring Twitter to see what people are saying. This doesn’t need to take more than a few minutes a day and you can do it when you have downtime, like on a boring conference call (don’t tell – I do this sometimes). 5. Manage your fear of new ways to communicate

We all face fear — fear of the strange, of the new, of the untested. It’s a natural human response and something that Tony talks about frequently: “And if we let it, fear can keep us locked up in the prison of the comfortable and predictable, which prevents us from reaching our true potential.”

To truly achieve greatness, you must act. You may need to challenge the status quo to make a difference in the world. Yes, you might fail spectacularly. But a fear of failure is not a reason to sit in front of the television instead of working on that project that’s burning away in your gut.

If you are new to it, the idea of real-time communications is scary. But in my experience, many people trace their worries about new forms of marketing to their belief that “people will say bad things about our company” via social media and this fear leads them to avoid participating in real-time media.

However, I’ve confirmed that this fear is significantly overblown. Employees, customers, and other stakeholders are talking about your organization offline anyway, so unless you are participating online, you’ll never know what’s being said at all.

Now is the time!

Conclusion

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