It’s not that I’m unaware that NFTs aren’t universally attractive, at the minute. Or that their application as “PFPs” is just as likely to signal pathology as any kind of virtue, let alone sex appeal. And it’s not that that I don’t give a f*ck (I’m an mfer, sure, but I’m rarely a careless one). So why, then, in spite of all the bullshit that often seems to define crypto, is it that I nevertheless stand behind them? Why not join the many armies that oppose it all instead? They’re surely a more respectable bunch than the degens and shadowy supercoders and dodgy artists whom I’ve quietly come to adore so much. So why? Why, that is, am I such an mfer? If you’ll listen, I’ll tell you.

I’m an mfer because I’m interested in whether we can’t, in this digital age of ours, build brands, and whole socioeconomic structures, in entirely novel ways. Ways that feel a little more, uh, digital.

I’m an mfer because I believe that legitimate, self-sovereign, transnational digital property rights are a basic human liberty, and, at least partially, the key to unlocking a better digital future.

I’m an mfer because I believe in an internet where the flow of value is intermediated by the institutions or networks we believe in, whose values we subscribe to.

I’m an mfer because I believe in the right to assign and transfer value freely. If, for instance, we want to make regenerating the planet worth something, monetarily speaking, we should be free to do so, and able to use all the available tools at our disposal. (And, if we elect to hold a non-trivial percentage of our net worth in stick figure, that’s our -- arguably disconcerting -- prerogative all the same).

I’m an mfer because I’d rather help build parallel, digitally-native institutions, from the ground up, than commit my life to salvaging institutions I scarcely believe in. If nothing else, I find the former vocation simply more interesting. (If it weren’t for the possibility of a radically better way of doing things, I’d probably live my life deep in the jungle -- it’s peaceful there).

I’m an mfer because I believe that technology is a possibility. Of course, it never guarantees a better world, but it provides the chance. The rest is on us. And if we take care of the rest, the rest is enough.

I’m an mfer because I believe that “crypto” is, in fact, a term to fight for; a legitimate cause to believe in. But one that requires our stewardship, lest it become something else.

I’m an mfer because real mfers already know all this.

I’m an mfer because real mfers patiently, and positively, help others understand this.

I’m an mfer because real mfers are kind-hearted and good.

I’m an mfer because real mfers got good !vibes.

I’m an mfer because real mfers know the Way.

But ultimately, it was never a choice.

I’m an mfer because I was born one.

I’m an mfer, and forever will be.